I guess the blank pages of a diary is the future – NC
It’s just like how one can’t recognize happiness until one goes though some hardship.
I understand from observation that love is never an easy journey.
It can be the motivation to climb the highest mountain and it can also be the reason for wanting to bury yourself 6 feet under.
One has to understand it’s true nature.
It’s a strange, bonded, & un-attached feeling that I have towards you.
Every morning I look outside of my window
We’re not together
But it feels nice to know that you are there.
It’s a strange, bonded, & un-attached affection that I have for you.
Because I’m a realistic girl,
I don’t cling onto what I don’t and cannot have,
But I find myself wanting to hold onto the thought of being with you.
I have a strange, bonded, & un-attached impression of you .
We share our mellow hellos and goodbyes
Along with a pair of smiles.
And sometimes we share the overviews of our lives.
I look forward to those moments the most.
It’s a strange, bonded, & un-attached attraction that I have towards you.
My eyes always veer towards you.
You’ll probably never know it,
Because I won’t ever say it,
Unless you step forward
I will always fall behind.
But I will always have this strange, bonded, & un-attached love for you.
“It’s Trina, right? Hi I’m Cole. I would love to have you as a roommate and as a potential friend. If you accept this invitation then there is something that you have to know. It’s the number 1 rule. We cannot be more than friends. I don’t want live in a miserable state for the entirety of this lease because things didn’t work out. Cool?” I’m going through this moment, our origin, over and over again right now because were in this type of situation; the type of situation where he’s in between my thighs and I’m looking up at him.
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I don’t want it
but it’s the only thing I know
I’m on my own.
I love to love
and don’t feel like my heart is out of beat.
I have people in my life that I Love and wouldn’t mind taking care of
and it’s those same people, who will take care for me. I know.
Yet, my heart is so guarded , just call it Fort Knox.
I believe that there are no crooks can steal this heart of mine.
I do not mind visitors but I’ll decide whether you’ll be my guest. Forever?
I guess I can thank God for that.
I guess His love is something I need to know
before I can love someone else.
I know how to love and how to use it.
I want to share it with someone who is worth it.
which seems impossible to do.
So I’ll sit. chill. and bow my head because,
I’m glad that He didn’t leave me alone and that I’m surrounded me with amazing people….
As I wait. sit. and chill.
Waiting for someone to blow away all my secret intelligence of the world I think I know.
So I’ll wait. sit. chill.
To feel…what’s God’s Deal.