“Easy. You only you know what easy is, if you have experienced some difficulties. With difficulties…if you have ever felt at ease after it…You’re a fighter whose fight never ends”
You thought you had me to follow your orders,
you forgot that I was swayed by your love and not by your power.
Seeing how the love is gone,
I got a got a few things to say.
Yes, you may have been my first love
But I’m guaranteeing that you won’t be my last.
I’m leaving, even if that means I can’t find somebody else.
Because I have myself and
there shouldn’t be any reason to lose her.
I feel the heat of the bond that ties us together.
We’re radiant, just like the sun and its nuclear reactions.
Our love is like a chemical fusion.
Something scientists would want to dissect, reproduce and put back together.
I like it when our hands are together.
I like making you aware of that.
I don’t know why you looked at me
The way you did,
It was as if you saw something in me
that I couldn’t see in myself.
And I might not ever get the chance to thank you,
But in the occasion of the moment
When your gaze fell upon me,
It moved me.
I wanted to see what you had seen.
I wanted to hear what you had thought.
I wondered what compelled you to glance my way?
A mold of a time so impersonal,
Where I could only count on the one and only…
and I was worth the wrinkle underneath your eye?
You got me thinking it would be alright to be a loveable,
Gullible, trustful, optimistic woman of this world.
Because through your eyes I’m only a reflection.
I liked the way you looked at me because
In your eyes I felt so sweet.
That was all I ever needed.
Your eyes were a soul changer for me.
Poetry by: NC Marisa Phanord
Art provided by My Modern Metropolis
Just for a moment you’ll want me/
flaunt me/ and forever and ever
just taunt me/ saying that you’ll love me /
but when we’re in town I’m just a friend/
pending/ whether if we’re really in love/ or just maybe
you want me just because…..
Ever been In a relationship or thought you were or hoped that “this” was real?
That is what this is about.
Just as a follow up to my “Love Yo Self” post, I would like to share this video with everyone.
Why shouldn’t we love all the little things that we call ‘flaws’ when there is probably somebody out there that will?
If somebody loves your flaws, then is a flaw bad?
I want you to see what these years have done for me
I have nothing to show for it.
I can only show you who I am.
I can only tell you about my plans.
I can only describe both my successes and failures.
You want something more tangible from me and
I Don’t have much to show for it.
I may not have a billion or two of anything.
Or have a million friends on FB, #true,
I have people who I love.
I have a reason to do my best.
You want proof of how I’m living…
Surrounded by people who love and care for me,
Is what I have show for my existence.
(WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SHOW?)
It’s been a year I’ve been gone, yet it feels like nothing had been going on. Time and life had passed. While Love has been coming by through various packages.
Let me start anew.
I pray God gives me something good to say and the will to pen it down for the world to appreciate it.
I wonder if any one realizes how fast time zooms by?
We just sit around and idolize people who have never intentionally made an impact in our lives and sincerely don’t care to put a pen to your name. We just idle around and watch Toyota’s in the Pacific and watch brothers of sisters of mothers and fathers bodies wash ashore sitting on our bottoms. Why aren’t we doing anything? Why am I not reacting? What does this mean?
Time just go,go, and goes without me. It sleeps without me. Eats without me and it definitely travels without me. If I wanted to chill it wouldn’t chill with me. If I wanted to rewind, it wouldn’t allow that; and if I wanted a repeat…just forget about it. What is sad about this relationship is that none of us wants to change. So we won’t. What does that mean?
I’m satisfied and halfway content. Just looking for the next circus tent. What does that neem?
I accept my life and all that I allow in my life. That includes both types of consequences. However, life is short and I stagger and pause too much, too similar to a rut. I need a new location and a new vocation and a right and left hemisphere renovation to finally think more clearly. What does this mean?
What is life?
Life is about time and reaction. Don’t use it inefficiently or recklessly but if you do just try not to regret it. But I must ask,
What does this all mean?
It seems as though as I age, the more refine I become. It seems as though as I age, the more beautiful I become. I’m not trying to be conceited, I don’t want to be perceived as vain; All I wanted to express is how I feel about myself now. When growing up I was always told how “beautiful” of a girl I was but back then I didn’t truly believe it. The only time I believed it was when my daddy told me so. It was the last couple of years in elementary school when I started to gain weight, develop, and all the other things that could make a child feel insecure. It was also around that time when my parents started, what seemed like harping, to address my weight issue. “you need to exercise… You would look better..”
With my parents, I know that they were legitimately concern for my health due to family history but even knowing that those comments still effected me throughout middle school. I wore long pants (even though we didn’t have to), long skirts (not really in style), long sleeved shirts… Nothing can be uncovered. But fortunately in 8th grade, due to certain events, that I had a break through. And my break through made me realize that I don’t have to feel pressure to change myself for the sake of others. I love my body as it is or smaller or even a little bigger.
Now, I’m not going to take you through my whole life story through high school but I’m going to tell you about how I’m feeling about myself these days. I feel beautiful. But there are those day when I feel the ugliest, the fattest, and meanest but I’m just a girl. It’s a girls thang.
But anyways, because I’m so cute 😛 I’ve been getting hollers a lot lately by boys around my age. I had to be specific about the type of boys hollering because even when I was little, like 14 years old, grown men with children would try and talk to me all the time. It was so bad that until this year (‘09-‘10) that I thought I can only get an older man…sigh…smh…:/ But now the boys my age, 19 and up are trying to talk, I don’t know how to react. In high school I never experienced that. I always thought that because I am so tall ( 6’1) that no one wanted to date me but I’ve found that to be untrue. Despite that realization, I feel a little intimidated by boys interested in me because it feels as though I can feel there intent in my soul and my soul is telling me that they aren’t up to no good.
I’m not the type to like the feeling of intimidation so I fight back. The only way, I believe, to fight the uneasiness these boys give me is build up my confidence more. What do you think? Can you relate? What advice do you have for me?