BY N.C. MARISA PHANORD
From a person who has never been in love with someone, love seems like a very scary thing to do.
Love seems like a monster wrapped in a M&M costume. It looks sweet, so you assume that it is, and then you lunge for a bite. You eat and eat until you get filled up with its “sweetness”. When your stomach becomes bloated with its chocolaty goodness so much that you can either: get sick from (break up) or you will never stop eating (continue to love) that M&M monster.
Love can be a blessing and it can be a curse. Wouldn’t you agree?
Although this society uses this word lightly, it’s important to understand its weight. Google defines love as an “intense feeling of deep affection”. In my life, I have experienced intense liking of a person. I would think about that person all day, I would day dream him, and have urges to talk to him. Even when you like a person, you go through a whole range of emotions and that’s exhausting in itself!
For the sake of those who have lost a love (not in a postmortem way) this post is for you.
“I am glad it cannot happen twice, the fever of first love. For it is a fever, and a burden, too, whatever the poets may say.”
― Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca
As many of you may know YOU ARE ENTITLED TO FEEL HOW YOU FEEL.
Do you feel hurt? It’s fine.
Are you angry? That’s alright.
Feeling depressed? It’s understandable.
You miss him/her? That’s normal.
Just take all those emotions and feel it to the fullest. Let it run it’s course.
And when you are going down this path, there are few things to keep in mind:
- This is a road you should travel for short period of time. Why? Because pity parties aren’t fun.
- This is the most reasonable time where you can analyze, rationalize, be irrational, and act crazy at the Same Damn Time! (express whatever it is that you want so that you’re heart isn’t as heavy.)
- Understand that you may never get the closure that you want. You just have to do what you must to be at peace with yourself.
- Depending on how great this love was…there will always be residual feelings left behind.
*If you allow it, UR ❤ will heal *
I believe that when you try to suppress your feelings, it always has a way of resurfacing bitterly. Bitter in the sense that the memory is so intense that you “relive” it all over again. You shouldn’t allow negativity control you like that. If I am making this sound like this an easy thing to do then I am sorry because it’s not.
This process of “letting go” consists of:
- Time. (As time goes by it’s get better to breathe.)
- Support. (It helps to have real and supportive friends listen to you and give you advice. For the times that you are weak it’s a blessing to have someone who is going to be strong for you and to not judge you. Just talk about it! just not to death lol)
- Growing Pains. (Life has taught you a lesson. You just have to find it. Accept it. But you don’t necessarily have to understand it.)
- Forgive. (Forgive so that you don’t regret.)
- Press on. (You have to press on through the hurt so that you don’t remain in a rut.)
- Don’t give up.Ever. (Let love happen again. Let someone love you)
- Don’t compare. (Everyone loves a different way. If you look for qualities of your EX in another person you might a) have the same problem or b) hurt the one you’re with now or c) lose out on something good.)
There is no time table when going through “the process” because it varies for everyone.
ADVICE: Fake it until you make it. If you pretend to be happy> and you do things that could make you happy> you just might be able to be happy again.
Although I never experienced a heart break I have been a friend to one how has been. Sometimes sincere advice from a completely different perspective on a matter can help.
I hope I helped. If you like this post then like it please. Share it. Also, please leave a comment and/or ask me anything.